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READ MY STORY
I should be dead!
I'm 10 years old and my grandfather is dying of cancer. I play a pinball game to predict my own passing and score 56 points. According to my superstitious rules, that's how many years I have to live. When my grandfather dies, it's a dark time for me. I don't just move on from it. Death and dying and a curiosity about afterlife consume me. In fact,
Death becomes a driving force in my life.
I speed through young adulthood as if it's a race to complete a checklist of adult accomplishments. I complete high school, get a job, and get married all by the age of 18. The pinball game is a repressed deep inside my brain and I don't even know it's there because I'm mentally and emotionally checked out. All I know is I need to finish life. Next on the list is to have kids. Stop! My wife doesn't want children. We divorce.
I continue at high speeds and check off Associate's degree. My subconscious reminds me that I need children to leave a legacy and I need a job to support the children. I'm driven to quickly remarry and to work full-time while I check off Bachelor's Degree and two children. But before my Chiropractic college graduation, it's over again. My choice to invest my time in school and full-time work fails to support my marriage.
I make it!
I'm a doctor now and my chiropractic practice takes off. I open one office, then two, and finally a third. I marry again, this time my wife is also Chiropractor. We have two children. We buy a very big house and drive expensive cars. Now I understand why my life hadn't gone the way I expected. We are supposed to complete school first. Then we should get a job and then get married and have children. Finally my life is working out!
I can't wait.
But not for long because it feels as though something is missing. I have four kids and I'm getting divorced for the third time! I lose my money, my home, my cars, and my kids! I’m financially and emotionally bankrupt.
Where did I go wrong this time?
I decide to follow a dream. I've always wanted to be a teacher. The pay sucks, but money doesn’t make you happy. In two years, I earn a post-baccalaureate in education and I start teaching high school science. I realize that education has been my passion all along. Except that driving force is unconsciously working in my brain, driving me to do more. I drive further into my education career, teaching teachers, then college, and Director of Education, College Dean, all the way to the top position, Campus Director.
But, when I'm ultimate fired, I hit my lowest low. I'm doing everything right but nothing works out. I’m a failure to everyone. I just wasted 20 years barreling through two careers and the countless lives of people I met along the way. I have all this education and all these experiences but I'm lost. Life has no meaning for me.
Fast forward to today.
Six months later, I meet Sharon and I'm in awe of her! She is surrounded by people that love and care about her because she knows that that life isn't meant to be rushed. Life is the relationships we have with each other. I dedicated my life to doing, unconsciously believing that I would run out of time. And all of the things I ignored, Sharon has nurtured her entire life. It doesn’t matter what I do for work. It's about what I do for others. I'll live out my days with the realization that some of my past relationships are gone forever. But the lesson learned is that while life may be short, it can only be lived today. And it's our relationships with others that make it fulfilling.
It works!
As soon as I started paying attention to the people in my life, my whole life changed. I'm closer to my family than I ever imagined possible. My friendships are more meaningful. And Sharon? She's forever my hero!
My life finally has meaning. Helping someone is an opportunity to build a relationship. Life is fulfilling and rewarding when it's shared with another person, no matter how long we live.